


The Way You Are

by Priestlyislove



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Coming Out, Crushes, Don’t think too hard about the logistics of this, First Kiss, Fluff, Ghost Cole, M/M, Nervousness, One Shot, Requited Unrequited Love, Robot Feels, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 19:29:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20644463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priestlyislove/pseuds/Priestlyislove
Summary: Now that Cole isn’t entirely human, either, maybe he can understand Zane better.





	The Way You Are

“Cole, may I ask you a question?”

Cole tore his eyes away from the clouds passing lazily above the tea shop and looked up at Zane. His boxy, towering frame was too familiar to be anything but welcoming. Cole patted the open space on the bench next to him. It was a small window seat, so the fit was a little snug for two bulky ninja. Their thighs might’ve just barely grazed together. It was almost impossible for Cole to tell. Zane stared at his hands folded neatly in his lap, and despite being as rigid as always, Cole got a sense of unease from him. All of them could tell how the others felt by now, even when they didn’t show it at all. There was no point in keeping secrets from each other.

“Shoot, buddy,” Cole mimed nudging him encouragingly. He was nervous about touching Zane when he wasn’t making an effort to be whole. The way he slipped into machines was too easy. The thought of possessing him was too much. Zane would never trust him again. That probably wasn’t true. Zane was understanding, he wouldn’t blame Cole for a mistake. But Cole would blame himself, and he wouldn’t trust himself around Zane anymore. He had already lost so much, losing Zane would be unbearable.

Zane turned his head to look at him, his blue eyes staring owlishly. “What was it like to feel things?”

He had to bite back the instinct to snark ‘how would I remember, I’ve been dead so long.’ It took him a moment to process his own selfishness, and his chest flooded warm with guilt. How could be so disgusting? Here was his dearest friend, suffering, always suffering, and all he could think about was his own problems.

“I’m sorry,” Zane’s eyebrows creased, “it wasn’t right for me to ask that.”

“No, no,” Cole shook his mane of hair to dispel his self loathing. Now wasn’t the time. “You’re-it’s fine.”

“I just…you know what it’s like. You could touch things, now you know what it’s like when you cannot. The others have not been without it, they wouldn’t be able to understand. How can you describe what it feels like to do something you have done your whole life? It would be like asking them to describe breathing. And…” Zane faltered. He looked back to his lap. “I do not want them to think I’m any stranger than I already am.”

“Hey, it’s fine, I swear,” he didn’t know how to make Zane feel like he wasn’t strange, but he desperately wished he could. He wished he could tell him he was perfect the way he was, but the words never made it out. Cole was scared, and he was very rarely scared. As team leader, he had to stay steadfast. And he was, normally, he was the rock the others could cling to. But he was scared that Zane would discover that his feelings for him were more than platonic. It felt wrong, dirty, like he was taking advantage of him every time they met eyes. He didn’t know what Zane would think of him then.

He swallowed hard, and decided to focus on the task at hand for the time being. He looked at his hand, and flexed it in thought, curling it in and out of a fist, “you can touch things. You must feel…_something_, right?”

Zane lifted his hand and mimicked Cole. “It’s all the same. I didn’t know that ice was cold until I watched the rest of you. I didn’t know I was cold.” There was a beat. Cole couldn’t tell if there was a sadness to it or if it was just him projecting. “I don’t know what it means to be warm. I don’t know soft or hard or rough or smooth.”

Cole knew he looked like an idiot, with his jaw hanging open like that. But he wasn’t worried about that right then. He cared about Zane, dearly, but he hardly knew him some days. Zane _was_ strange. He was different. Too different for Cole to understand. He thought they’d be closer now that his body was no longer fully human, and they were, but there was still an ocean between them. But no matter what, he was Zane, and Cole understood that. The workings of a nindroid was beyond him, but not his friend.

“Okay,” Cole shifted the way he was sitting, lifting his knee up to his chest. “Can you give me like-parameters? You can hear, right? And see? You must be able to taste and smell, your cooking is amazing.” He received nods and let out a small relieved sigh. “Okay. I can work with this.”

He took in a deep breath, focusing all his energy on being whole, so he could feel him completely. He gently pried open Zane’s fingers, pressing his thumb against his palm. Cole just let the words fumble out of his mouth, praying they’d find their own way without real guidance, “you’re...when I touch you, I don’t feel cold. I mean, you’re not warm, but you’re not _cold_. Like you said, ice is cold. Ice is hard to hold, and you’re-you’re not hard to hold at all.”

Cole’s heart thundered in his chest, chuckling nervously as he continued, “Your skin is smooth, it’s-it’s flawless, like, um, when the sky is pink up top but orange on the bottom and you can’t see how it changes. Does-does that make any sense?”

“Yes,” Zane spoke softly, his eyes focused intently on their hands. “Perfect sense.”

Cole smiled, feeling more confident. “My hands are rough and calloused, like...like the sound of drums, same as Kai and Nya. Jay too, but his hands are always a little damp.” He moved his thumb in a little circle on Zane’s hand. “When I’m not...physical, they feel how rain smells.”

He reached his free hand up and traced the slant of his hair, upsetting a few strands. It was so cute when it was messy. “Your hair is like sun melting snow, or hay snapping underneath your feet. Mine is like the taste of popcorn.” His hand drifted from his hair to his jawline. “And your lips…” He was trembling. He was terrified. He didn’t know what Zane would think of him. But Zane was scared of the same thing. That was one thing he knew for certain about his friend. Zane was petrified at the thought of rejection and abandonment, which was perfectly human of him. And so everyday he pulled away, ever so slightly, bracing himself for the impact he thought was inevitable. So scared they wouldn’t love him, he refused to love himself. Cole saw himself reflected in Zane’s eyes. They were the same.

They were the _same_.

The kiss started slow. Their hesitation melted away. Everything else in the world melted away. Touch, sight, sounds, it all melted away. Their fading humanity became a distant problem. For the moment, everything was hot and wet and alive.

Cole pulled away, his breath hitching. Zane stared back at him, and they both smiled. Cole bumped their foreheads together lightly, laughing weakly, “I was wondering how your lips felt.”

Zane cupped his face as their lips brushed together again, and Cole wasn’t scared of anything. 


End file.
